self esteem

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Monday, July 31, 2006

self esteem : Steps to Happiness

Although there are people who are chemically depressed, which means that they are depressed for no reason, happiness is a choice for most of us. Happiness is gained by doing, not by thinking. When you begin to think whether you’re happy or not, you are no longer happy. You are happy only as long as you don’t think, just do, and eventually you’ll be happy. Below are seven steps or keys to happiness.

Remember, in order for any of these techniques to work you must actually be bold and try to do them. Again, they will not work through intellectualization because once you begin to intellectualize whether you’re happy or not, you are no longer happy for you lost that elusive moment of happiness which you may have had. So work hard at these steps, practice them all at once, practice them one at a time if you want to, but be bold, and practice them – to transform your life.

1. Smile

Smile right now. No matter what you’re doing, or what you’ve been through today, you feel a lot better now because you smiled. Smiling is a huge turn-on to people, it makes you and others feel good. However, that’s not all, smiling projects an aura of self-confidence. It tells people, “I’m in charge of myself and therefore I want to make you feel better. If you want people to come to you, project a healthy smile at all times. Even when you’re sad, fake it. Your brain can’t tell the difference between a fake smile and a real smile, you will become happier automatically when you smile.

2. Be bold.

Always remember Goethe’s quote, “boldness has genius, power and magic in it.” When you are bold and go after what you want with reckless abandonment, magical forces come together to create a series of “coincidences” to make your dreams become a reality. If you aren’t bold, then there’s no hope for you – you won’t reach your hopes and dreams. Be bold at all times and you will eventually reach your hopes and dreams.

3. Exercise

Exercising releases endorphins which make you happy. Any type of exercise is fine, treadmill, weights, dancing, etc. Just as long as you do it and enjoy it. Then be bold, a bit more magic will begin to occur, as happiness will mysteriously strike your life. Of course, you know that they are not coincidences that you had to perform the “magical tricks,” or boldness to make these coincidences become a reality in your life.

4. Be in the present moment

As far as you’re concerned, only the present moment exists, as it’s the only moment you can do anything about. Yesterday and tomorrow are out of your control at the present time. Only today can be changed, so it’s the only thing that matters. When you concentrate on yesterday or tomorrow, you stifle your ability to take advantage of the present moment which you can change. Moreover, the present moment has magic in it, as well.

5. Have confidence

You now know that smiling portrays a feeling of self-confidence. However, there are also other factors that show that you’re confident. Any positive interaction you can have with people portrays confidence. This means doing things that make the other person feel comfortable. This includes smiling as mentioned earlier, but it also includes making eye contact, and nodding your head when somebody is talking to you.

Any positive interaction you can have with a person raises your self-esteem and your confidence level, as well. It shows you that you can interact with people and get the most out of conversations. Confidence is also gained by all the steps covered here: being in the present moment, exercising, being bold, etc. Happiness is a domino effect, if you’re happy (perhaps by making yourself feel happy through smiling), other people will see that you’re happy and will want to join in on your party.

If you let them join your party, you will become even happier. When you’re confident, no matter how much nonsense you may say, people will still listen to you a lot more than if you were to say something profound but you were to say it with a lack of confidence. In summary, confidence gives you power over yourself, and having power over yourself brings you happiness.

6. Have a positive attitude

Your outside is a reflection of your inside. If you are positive on the inside, your outside will appear as a positive world. If you are negative on the inside, the outside will seem gloomy. The point of all of this is that you should work on the inside, your attitude, and eventually your outside will seem bright. Your attitude determines your altitude. You can only go as high as determined by how positive your attitude is. If you have a positive expectancy inside that things are going to go well for you, good fortune will soon come to you. If the opposite is true, you have a negative expectancy, then negative events will keep reoccurring in your life.

7. Don’t take things personally

There is only one perfect way to deal with people who tease you or put you down: do absolutely nothing. If you take it personally, and get aggressive, then they will find more ways to put you down, and you will become very unhappy. You try to punch them, and you sink down to their level. However, if you don’t take things personally, instead, be quiet and let them speak their “nonsense,” they will soon become baffled. They will look and feel dumb as they will have nothing more to say (that anyone will hear) and eventually they will have to shut up. It’s like a class clown who eventually shuts up when nobody is laughing. Doing this avoids conflict and solves the whole problem without any effort being expended on your part and plenty of energy being expended on theirs. Understand that they themselves must have low self-esteem if they feel that they have to put somebody down in order to make themselves feel better. If you feel bad, and retaliate, then you are showing them that you have low self-esteem yourself, again, but it bears repeating, you will sink down to their level. For if your self-esteem is high and you’re happy, you won’t care what anybody else says because you will be happy no matter what. Always remember Abraham Lincoln’s quote, “people are only as happy as they make up their minds up to be.”

By Pablo Golub


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