self esteem

know more about self esteem, building self esteem, low self esteem...

Monday, June 26, 2006

self esteem : Learn How to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Building self esteem is a first step towards a happy, healthy and productive life. Yet having low self-esteem is perhaps the most common flaw of our humanity. Having self-, esteem will help build your confidence. If you have self-confidence, you will feel a self-worth and respect yourself as a person. If you respect yourself you can respect others, improve your life by improving your relationships with your love ones, friends and co-workers. You will be able to achieve your goals in life and obtain true happiness in your life.

Low self-esteem can cause people to develop depression, unhappiness, insecurity and a poor confidence level. When you have low self-esteem ever little mistake that occurs in your life is taken to heart. When people critisize you, when you make mistakes, a joke directed toward you and it will cause you to run away from every opportunity that comes your way and every challenge will seem impossible to accomplish. This will cause you to feel stagnant and lose meaning and direction in your life.

You can develop high self-esteem, just like learning to read or dance. Secondly, people do not understand the importance of having high self-esteem. I cannot even begin to stress the importance of having high self-esteem; it is the key to having mental, physical and spiritual strength.

The first stage of developing strength is learning to love yourself and your life. You need to learn to be grateful of what God has given you. You need to let go of all those angry emotions inside. Holding anger inside yourself will not help you, it will only hurt you. The past is the past; you can only change the present.

You need to love yourself by accepting all your faults and putting the past behind you, but if, you focus on your faults than you will only experience an unhappy life. You need to think positively and focus on your accomplishments.

To live with a happy state of mind, you need to have high self-esteem. You need to feel that you are no different from anyone else and that you can be the person you set in your mind to be. You need to reconstruct your life. You need to put yourself in a lifestyle that will make you happy and bring you as little stress as possible.

To begin the healing process you need to develop strength, wisdom, confidence and knowledge. If you can develop these qualities, you will achieve all your goals and dreams. First, you must focus on the goals and dreams you want to fulfill. I am going to teach you the true meanings of having strength, wisdom, confidence and knowledge. I will help shoe you how to obtain and use them. These four steps will help you live a happy life and gain high self-esteem.! Below are four steps to high self-esteem.

1. Strength- the development of strength in the inner body begins in the mind. The inner body is our mind, soul and spirit. How we think and program our minds to work, helps us build mental, physical and spiritual strength. Our strength comes from how we feel about ourselves. The higher our self-esteem, the stronger we feel and in turn, we can do more for ourselves.

Yet, if you have the strength and motivation, you can make the present anything you want. To free all your negative emotions that are holding you back, you have to say to yourself. I accept myself for who I am and that I am unable to change the past. Nevertheless, I can change my future because I love myself and refuse to hurt myself by drowning in my own self-pity. You cannot rely on others. You need to learn to rely on yourself.

You have to believe in yourself, develop a sense of pride in yourself. It does not matter what others think about you, what matters is how you think about yourself. God put us on this earth to love others, not to hurt ourselves and take our anger out on others, who are usually the people we care about the most and ourselves.

2. Knowledge - is the second part of the process of change, it is another important factor in helping yourself. Knowledge comes from experience from being open minded to suggestions others may give. We may not always agree with other people's suggestions, yet it is always wise to listen to what others have to say. Some individuals may try to be controlling and may get frustrated if we do not act on what they have to say. You should to set these people straight and tell them; I will listen to what you have to say; however, that does not necessarily mean I am going to agree with you. I have my own mind, too and I need to do what is best for me.

We learn from each other and we acquire knowledge from the world around us that we should pass along to others by helping them. We need to take our experience and use it in our present life now, including the mistakes we have made in life. The mistakes we have made are where we get most of our knowledge that helps us become stronger individuals. What weakens us when we repeatedly make the same mistakes?

Do not pity yourself for the mistakes you made in life or imperfections. Studies have shown that people who have negative attitudes are more like to live chaotic lives. They are more likely to become mentally or physically ill with extremely debilitating or life threatening illnesses. Many people have a hard time focusing on the positive because they allow their negative sides to consume them... I firmly believe that focusing on the negatives will causes seizures.

Say to yourself, OK, what I have learned from these mistakes or from my shortcomings. Taking what you have learned and using it to help others is the best therapy. When you help, you feel a sense of accomplishment and self-worth. You are overlooking any negative characteristics because you are too busy focusing on helping others'.

3. Confidence- our confidence comes from our self-esteem. To have high self-esteem we need to feel good about ourselves, to get to this point in life you need to begin by starting to do things in life to make yourself happy by focusing on the future, creating direction in your life. Begin by planning short and long-term goals for yourself and confidence level will rise.

It worked for me. When I started accomplishing some of my short-term goals, I had more self-respect. I developed a greater sense of pride and my inner strength and self-worth increased.

4. Wisdom- comes from your sixth sense. We all have five senses, our sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch, yet I believe wisdom to be our sixth sense. Wisdom understands the inner signals and the directions that your body sends out to you, becoming aware of what your body is trying to tell you. Your sixth sense always leads you to the right answers. It is up to us to learn to understand our inner self (spirit) and to follow the signals it sends out to us.

Listening to what our inner self has to say is essential. For example, have you ever felt like you had a feeling something was the right thing to do. You need to learn to understand your mind, so you can understand your inner soul and all the wonderful things it is capable of doing. When we listen and act on the signals our body, it gives us a stronger understanding to our body as a whole. Spiritually you can give your body what it needs.

We feed our body food to survive on a daily basis. Spiritually we need to feed our body with love, understanding and different forms of relaxation, such as meditation. I strongly suggest to everyone that you start with at least five minutes each day with some type of relaxation exercise. Either in the morning when you start your day, the afternoon if you are able too or at night before bed to release the tension that has built up throughout the day. Each week you should add five minutes until you get to hour each day.

When you do these things, you increase your level of strength, wisdom, knowledge and confidence. By having a high level of strength you feel as though, you can conquer the world. This helps you decrease your stress level.

Once you accept yourself, you can cope with the world around you and accept the fact that you can do everything you expected to do in life. Nevertheless, to accept that yourself you first have to love who you are and be proud of the person you have become. There are many things in life you are capable of doing, but you must develop the motivation and the will to get out there and JUST DO THEM!

by Stacey Chillemi

self esteem : Improving Your Teen's Self-Esteem

The teenage years are often the most difficult time of childhood. During this time, children are blossoming into adults and struggle to determine the individual identity.

It is no shock the teen years are the most dreaded by parents, but these fragile youngsters are at a critical time in their lives. Often, boundaries are pushed and rules are stretched by a teenager yearning to take that "next step" into adulthood.

Teens find themselves not only faced with emotional transitions, but also physical changes.

In the midst of these physical and emotional evolutions, a teen's self-esteem can be compromised. Parents can take certain steps in order to ensure that a child's self-esteem is not affected by the turbulent teenage years.

The best way to improve your teen's self-esteem is to take an active role in your child's life. By knowing his or her interests, friends, strengths, and weaknesses, you will be aware of any problems that may arise.

Starting from a young age, instill a positive attitude in your child. Children who have a great sense of self-worth are more apt to blossom into teenagers with a great sense of self-worth. Take time to talk with your teen instead of talking to your teen. If your child believes his or her opinion or thoughts have an impact in the home front, that individual is more apt to have a greater self-esteem. Allowing your teen to have a say in decisions that affect the entire family will further impress a sense of self-worth, thus positively affect his or her self-esteem.

Children learn by example, and teenagers are no different.

Teens whose parents showcase high self-esteem are more likely to exhibit self-esteem. Conversely, parents with low self-esteem or who constantly question their self-worth will pass those traits on to their children simply by their actions. The way you interact with your friends, family members, and colleagues will rub off on your children.

Individuals with low self-esteem set poor examples for their teens and should not be surprised when their teens exhibit similar actions. Children are like a sponge, so take care not to comment negatively towards yourself or others. Many teens with issues regarding their physical appearance learn these behaviors from home. Television, movies, and music play a huge part in any teenager's life. These outlets seem obsessed with a pre-conceived idea of perfection that will most likely differ from that of the average individual. Take time to speak with your teen regarding these issues.

Interaction with your teenager will allow you first-hand information on any problems he or she may be having and make an attempt to remedy these situations. Often, teenagers are quite sensitive about their appearance due to acne or other issues. If this is the case, consider making an appointment with a dermatologist who will be able to remedy the situation. Similarly, your teen may be interested in changing his or her appearance to best fit a burgeoning identity, but may be hesitant to approach a parent. Remember, teenagers straddle the line between child and young adult.

Although they may yearn to be an adult, the child part still needs reassurance from a parent. If you as a parent feel a requested physical transformation will not benefit your teen, make a compromise. Often, teens are looking to be outrageous in order to push boundaries set by parents. Instead of lowering your teen's self-esteem by creating a confrontation, create an atmosphere of discussion and compromise.

Open communication cannot be stressed enough. Take time to talk to your teen about their friends, classes, activities, or interests. Teach your teen to accentuate the positive instead of focusing on attributes they see as weak or negative. Instill a sense great self esteem at a young age that will continue with your teen as he or she grows.

You may wish to enroll your child in self-esteem building classes or extra curricular activities that will boost their self-worth. Whatever the case, taking an active part in your teen's life is the best way to see them through this transitional time in their lives with their self-esteem intact.

by Rene Graeber

self esteem : Improving Your Teen's Self-Esteem

The teenage years are often the most difficult time of childhood. During this time, children are blossoming into adults and struggle to determine the individual identity.

It is no shock the teen years are the most dreaded by parents, but these fragile youngsters are at a critical time in their lives. Often, boundaries are pushed and rules are stretched by a teenager yearning to take that "next step" into adulthood.

Teens find themselves not only faced with emotional transitions, but also physical changes.

In the midst of these physical and emotional evolutions, a teen's self-esteem can be compromised. Parents can take certain steps in order to ensure that a child's self-esteem is not affected by the turbulent teenage years.

The best way to improve your teen's self-esteem is to take an active role in your child's life. By knowing his or her interests, friends, strengths, and weaknesses, you will be aware of any problems that may arise.

Starting from a young age, instill a positive attitude in your child. Children who have a great sense of self-worth are more apt to blossom into teenagers with a great sense of self-worth. Take time to talk with your teen instead of talking to your teen. If your child believes his or her opinion or thoughts have an impact in the home front, that individual is more apt to have a greater self-esteem. Allowing your teen to have a say in decisions that affect the entire family will further impress a sense of self-worth, thus positively affect his or her self-esteem.

Children learn by example, and teenagers are no different.

Teens whose parents showcase high self-esteem are more likely to exhibit self-esteem. Conversely, parents with low self-esteem or who constantly question their self-worth will pass those traits on to their children simply by their actions. The way you interact with your friends, family members, and colleagues will rub off on your children.

Individuals with low self-esteem set poor examples for their teens and should not be surprised when their teens exhibit similar actions. Children are like a sponge, so take care not to comment negatively towards yourself or others. Many teens with issues regarding their physical appearance learn these behaviors from home. Television, movies, and music play a huge part in any teenager's life. These outlets seem obsessed with a pre-conceived idea of perfection that will most likely differ from that of the average individual. Take time to speak with your teen regarding these issues.

Interaction with your teenager will allow you first-hand information on any problems he or she may be having and make an attempt to remedy these situations. Often, teenagers are quite sensitive about their appearance due to acne or other issues. If this is the case, consider making an appointment with a dermatologist who will be able to remedy the situation. Similarly, your teen may be interested in changing his or her appearance to best fit a burgeoning identity, but may be hesitant to approach a parent. Remember, teenagers straddle the line between child and young adult.

Although they may yearn to be an adult, the child part still needs reassurance from a parent. If you as a parent feel a requested physical transformation will not benefit your teen, make a compromise. Often, teens are looking to be outrageous in order to push boundaries set by parents. Instead of lowering your teen's self-esteem by creating a confrontation, create an atmosphere of discussion and compromise.

Open communication cannot be stressed enough. Take time to talk to your teen about their friends, classes, activities, or interests. Teach your teen to accentuate the positive instead of focusing on attributes they see as weak or negative. Instill a sense great self esteem at a young age that will continue with your teen as he or she grows.

You may wish to enroll your child in self-esteem building classes or extra curricular activities that will boost their self-worth. Whatever the case, taking an active part in your teen's life is the best way to see them through this transitional time in their lives with their self-esteem intact.

by Rene Graeber

Thursday, June 22, 2006

self esteem : Balancing Work And Family Stresses

The pace of life seems to quicken every year. More and more time is spent rushing from job to after school activities or evening meetings. It's easy to get over whelmed and to loose a sense of family and relaxation in our homes. Here are a few ideas to help strengthen your family and to keep some of life's pressures and stresses out of the home.
~ Be involved but learn how to say No, once in a while. You want to be an involved informed parent but you need to keep your schedule sane. So don't volunteer for everything and don't sign your kids up for every after school sport or activity. Set limits on these activities, car pool whenever possible, and limit the activities you volunteer for and your children participate in to two for each half of the school year.

~ Week long family vacations are great but sometimes you need a family break more often. Plan mini retreats that give you a break from your routine and allow down time where you can just hang out. See if a local hotel with a swimming pool has off-season rates. Then get together with one or two other families whose company you enjoy and book a night in the hotel. Bring swimsuits for the kids and a good book for yourself. You can also turn off the TV, telephone, computer, and CD player for the night, cook an easy meal or order take out and tell stories or play cards or a board game. Teenagers may think its hokey at first but they really do appreciate the change of pace and the time with their family.


~ Eat dinner at the table not in front of the TV or standing in the kitchen grabbing a quick bite just before rushing out to the next activity. Consciously eating your meals not only improves digestion but also allows you thirty minutes to slow down and reconnect; sharing things that happened during the day. Make it mandatory and after a few weeks you will see how everyone really looks forward to this short peace of family time each night.


~ Develop family traditions with your immediate and extended family members. Come up with a special night once or twice a year that isn't tied to a holiday. Have everyone who comes make something to eat, even the littlest ones. Share what you have been doing since the last get together and come up with some fun game everyone can get involved in. Horse shoes, softball, badminton, the game isn't important it's the time you spend together just goofing around without judgment and the pressures of the regular schedule of life.


~ Keep expectations of achievement in school at a reasonable level; encourage your children to strive for things and work at a level that always gives them a bit of a challenge, but don't push them into situations that are too different or may regularly affect their self esteem.

by BZ Riger-Hull

self esteem : 10 tips to kickstart your self esteem

If you're tired of feeling "less than", afraid of making and achieving your desires and goals, feel that no matter what you do it is never "good enough", then your self esteem could do with a boost!

Having low self esteem takes an enormous toll on the quality of your life. You take fewer risks, which limits your opportunities, both personally and professionally. You are reluctant to voice or acknowledge your needs. You are probably also haunted by past mistakes and making future ones.

It doesn't have to be like this, the tools you've used to (unconsciously) lower your self esteem are the same ones you use to raise it. The following article gives you ten tips to raise your self esteem and improve the quality of your life!

1. Stop comparing yourself to other people. If you play this game, you're likely to compare yourself in a negative way and set yourself up for continuing to have low self esteem. Why continue to play a game where you've set the rules against yourself, so that you're less likely to win!

2. Don't keep putting yourself down! You can't develop high self esteem if you constantly repeat negative comments about your skills and abilities. Other people will pick up on it and take on board the negative way you view yourself. How are they likely to treat you? Also don't beat yourself up over "mistakes" that you've made - learn how to reframe them so that they work for you.

3. Using affirmations is an excellent way to raise your self esteem. It's the opposite of no 1. If you can programme your mind to repeat negative phrases about yourself (and see how effective that's been!), then you can certainly get into the habit of continually thinking (and saying to yourself) positive statements about you. When you do, allow yourself to experience the positive feelings about your statements. Also use inspirational quotes to assist you.

4. Accept all compliments graciously. Don't dismiss or ignore them. When you do you give yourself the message that you do not deserve or are not worthy of praise, which reflects low self esteem. It also means that others will become more reluctant to praise or acknowledge your abilities, if you don't.

5. Take advantage of and use life coaching programmes, workshops, books on how to raise your self esteem and develop a more positive attitude. Whatever material you see, read acts as subliminal learning, which means that it will plant itself in your mind and dominate your behaviour. Talk about food for thought - what diet is your mind on? Is it a nourishing one?

6. Mix with positive and supportive people. Who you associate with influences your thoughts, actions and behaviour - another form of subliminal learning. Negative people can put you and your ideas down and it lowers your self esteem. On the other hand, when you are surrounded by supportive people, you feel better about yourself, which helps to raise your self esteem. Learn how to develop your positive personal support network.

7. Acknowledge your positive qualities and skills. Too many people with low self esteem constantly put themselves down (back to no 1 again!) and don't appreciate their many positive attributes. Learn how to truly affirm and value your many excellent qualities. If you find this difficult, ask others to tell you. They'll come up with things you would never have imagined!

8. Stop putting up with stuff! Not voicing or acknowledging your needs means that you are probably tolerating more than you should. Find out what you're putting up with and zap those tolerations. By doing so, you're giving yourself the message that you're worth it.

9. Make positive contributions to others. This doesn't mean that you constantly do for others what they could be doing for themselves. But when you do make a positive contribution to others, you begin to feel more valuable, which increases your sense of your own value and raises your self esteem.

10. Involve yourself in work and activities that you love. So many people with low self esteem stop doing those activities that they most enjoy. Even if you're not in a position to to make immediate changes in your career, you can still devote some of your leisure time to enjoyable hobbies and activities.

and..............................

Start taking action! The universe rewards action. Backing away and avoiding challenges means that your self esteem muscles become weak and flabby. When you start to take action -regardless of the outcome - you will start to feel better about yourself, develop your self confidence and raise your self esteem.

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

self esteem : Where Does Self-Esteem Come From?

Our self-esteem develops and evolves throughout our lives as we build an image of ourselves through our experiences with different people and activities. Experiences during our childhood play a particularly large role in the shaping of our basic self-esteem. When we were growing up, our successes (and failures) and how we were treated by the members of our immediate family, by our teachers, coaches, religious authorities, and by our peers, all contributed to the creation of our basic self-esteem.

Self-esteem is largely developed during childhood.

Healthy Self-Esteem
Childhood experiences that lead to healthy self-esteem include-

being praised

being listened to

being spoken to respectfully

getting attention and hugs

experiencing success in sports or school

having trustworthy friends


Low Self-Esteem
Childhood experiences that lead to low self-esteem include-

being harshly criticized

being yelled at, or beaten

being ignored, ridiculed or teased

being expected to be "perfect" all the time

experiencing failures in sports or school
People with low self-esteem were often given messages that failed experiences (losing a game, getting a poor grade, etc.) were failures of their whole self.

What Does Your "Inner Voice" Say?
Our past experiences, even the things we don't usually think about, are all alive and active in our daily life in the form of an Inner Voice. Although most people do not "hear" this voice in the same way they would a spoken one, in many ways it acts in a similar way, constantly repeating those original messages to us.

For people with healthy self-esteem the messages of the inner voice are positive and reassuring. For people with low self-esteem, the inner voice becomes a harsh inner critic, constantly criticizing, punishing, and belittling their accomplishments.


THREE Faces of Low Self-Esteem
Most of us have an image of what low self-esteem looks like, but it is not always so easy to recognize. Here are three common faces that low self-esteem may wear:

The Impostor: acts happy and successful, but is really terrified of failure. Lives with the constant fear that she or he will be "found out." Needs continuous successes to maintain the mask of positive self-esteem, which may lead to problems with perfectionism, procrastination, competition, and burn-out.

The Rebel: acts like the opinions or good will of others - especially people who are important or powerful - don't matter. Lives with constant anger about not feeling "good enough." Continuously needs to prove that others' judgments and criticisms don't hurt, which may lead to problems like blaming others excessively, breaking rules or laws, or fighting authority.

The Loser: acts helpless and unable to cope with the world and waits for someone to come to the rescue. Uses self-pity or indifference as a shield against fear of taking responsibility for changing his or her life. Looks constantly to others for guidance, which can lead to such problems as lacking assertiveness skills, under-achievement, and excessive reliance on others in relationships.


Consequences of Low Self-EsteemLow self-esteem can have devastating consequences.

It can create anxiety, stress, loneliness and increased likelihood for depression.
It can cause problems with friendships and relationships.
It can seriously impair academic and job performance.
It can lead to underachievement and increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse.
Worst of all, these negative consequences themselves reinforce the negative self-image and can take a person into a downward spiral of lower and lower self-esteem and increasingly non-productive or even actively self-destructive behavior.

©1999 CMHC

self esteem : How To Build Healthy Self-Esteem

What others visualize or verbalize about us and what we experience in our surroundings or day to day activities often effects the perception of who we think we are. If we hear or experience more positive than negative things about us, we are likely to have greater self-esteem. If we hear or experience more negative things than positive things about us, we are likely to have lower self-esteem.

Therefore a person who has just been fired from his job would likely have a lower self-esteem. A child who has been repeatedly been told that he or she is no good would likely develop low self-esteem.

An employee who is always reprimanded by his boss will likely have low self-esteem. A spouse who feels unloved and unappreciated will have, or eventually develop over a period of time, a feeling of low self-esteem.

Low self esteem complicates a person's ability to rise above his present station in life. Lack of self esteem is unhealthy. Low self-esteem is like a self-fulfilling prophecy in that it helps perpetuate individual's dulled senses, feeling less creative, less productive and lacking that extraordinary zest for life.

Low self esteem can make a person depressed and physically sick. In extreme cases, low self-esteem can drive individuals to self-destruct or negatively impact another person's life in some manner.

There are two viable ways in which to combat the lack of self-esteem. The first way is something that you can do yourself right now. The other way would require the help of a professional.

Let's pay particular importance to the first method. Not only is it free, but this simple and easy exercise can be done right now!

You will experience a greater sense of self-esteem knowing that you were able to help yourself in fulfilling your own desires, ambitions or goals.

The first stride in directing yourself towards a lasting turnabout is to take that first step or action and accomplish something. Start with the little things that can be easily completed. Once you accomplish something, proceed to set your sights on completing additional little tasks or working on other areas where improvement is desired. Let these cumulative efforts and accomplishments build on each other. Making yourself proud of your progress, for good reason, will provide you the fuel to continue this process or journey.

Are you a couch potato? Start moving around and do some exercise! Do you smoke? Quit smoking!

Do not be too ambitious. Remember, you are advised to accomplish little things first. If your desired tasks still seem overwhelming at first or like daunting challenges, attack these projects in smaller pieces or activities. This will help jumpstart your momentum in the right direction.

A ten minute walk a day is already a little accomplishment. Cutting back smoking by half is already a little accomplishment.

Though these little things may seem insignificant, they will have a snowball effect on the development of your self-esteem. This will lead to the ultimate realization of all your goals, the discovery and release of the high self-esteem hiding and waiting "within" you!

by Raul R. Bancod and John Urman

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

self esteem : 5 ways to kick the procrastination habit!

Do you rush around doing things at the last minute? How many times have you mentioned something that you felt that you ought to do and said "yes, I'll get round to it", but "it" never happens. Procrastination means to "defer action", but it rarely serves us well, unless we know what's behind it and what to do about it.

Procrastination isn't only about deciding not to do or to delay doing something - it also means that we have chosento do something else instead. So, it's watching TV instead of having a relaxing swim. It's going out to lunch with a friend when there's a report to be completed. Habitually
making choices which don't serve us well will continually create challenges and drama in our lives.

Procrastination causes stress. Yes, most of us have too much on our plates, but leaving things until they really
have to be done just ensures that we put even more pressure on ourselves.

Delaying things take time and energy - because when you know that something needs to be done and you're not doing
it - it stays in the back of your mind and silently drains you.

Procrastination is only a habit and habits can be changed. The first thing to ask yourself is whether procrastination is a sign that you need to change something fundamental in
your life (ie job, environment, relationships) or if it's masking fear, lack of self-confidence, self-esteem etc

There are a number of ways to tackle procrastination and you can use different strategies for different situations.

1. Conversion

May of live a "have to", rather than a "want to" life. Our lives are full of obligations and things that we don't really want to do. But with some creative and imaginative thinking
we can convert the "have tos" into the "want tos". How can we do this? By thinking beyond the immediate task and focusing on the wider benefits of completion.

For instance, if you don't want to do the books or open your bank statements, you can try asking yourself what are
the benefits of greater financial control.

Will you have much more money in the long run as you learn to save, spend and invest it wisely? How much freer will you feel now that you've taken back control and your energy isn't being drained by the nagging, insistent worry that you ought to be doing something about it - because you already
are!

2. Prioritisation

By which I mean do the thing you least want to do when you have the most energy to do it.You can always find the energy to do things that you enjoy doing, but you need your energy
level to be highest when tackling things which you don't care for. So, if you're at your best in the morning - then tackle the administration then, clear out your clutter and vice versa if you're an afternoon or evening person.

3. Delegation

We have things that we're good at and things that we prefer to do. Ask yourself: (i) does it have to be done at all? (ii) does it have to be done by you? Is there someone else who could do the job? You may decide that you don't want to concentrate your energies on bookkeeping, but you can hire a bookkeeper to free you from this. Or someone else at work may like administration; ask for their - or more - assistance.

4. Do it in pieces

The difficulty with procrastination is that the task may seem overwhelming because it has been avoided for so long.
It has grown in size and taken on a life of its own! Bring it back down to earth and start tackling it in bite sized pieces (when you're at your best! - see no 2)

5. Develop a system

Procrastination takes up time and energy. You may always find yourself on the defensive as things catch up with you. Developing a system means that you nip procrastination in
the bud.

If you want to take more exercise, then exercise with a buddy, hire a personal trainer (either at your house or
the gym). Join a walking club, sports club - somewhere where you are committed to being and encourage others to commit with you. Set up structures which ensure that procrastination doesn't get the chance to put its feet
under your table.

And remember to reward yourself when you've broken through and achieved something.

Dealing with procrastination is one way of taking back control of your life and the ultimate reward is having more time to really enjoy your life.

©2003 by Julie Plenty

self esteem : The Top three reasons people Fail online

Most people come online with the thoughts of getting rich quick...And then fall flat on their faces! They get the get rich quick virus, it's quite contagious and extremely deadly to your self esteem and your business! You need to get rid of that virus by implementing, knowledge, hard work and the right mindset, learn from other people's mistakes and understand why they have failed online, so that you can avoid making the same mistakes, when you do make a mistake, shake it off and get on with your life, take that mistake and turn it into knowledge. Here are the top three reasons why most people fail online:

1) Don't have the money to start, or don't want to spend it!.

You have to think that starting a online business is the same as
starting an offline business, when you start an offline business,
there are certain things that you have to be willing to pay for
if you want your business to succeed.

And the same thing goes for your online business, and if you're
not willing to spend the money on these things then your business
will go nowhere!

A list of what you need is:
A great web-host (this is the lifeline of your business)

A good follow up system (autoresponders)

Knowledge (if you have to buy into a membership or course to
learn what it takes to build your business then do it)

You have to spend some money on advertising..(eZine advertising,
Pay-Per-Click or whatever)
(Just make sure you do your reasearch on what your fixing to join
or purchase!)


2) They give up before it get's going!

This happens all the time, people come on line with the hopes of
getting rich, they join one scheme after another thinking this
one is going to make me rich, as soon as they receive another
email scheme, they jump on it..

This keeps going for awhile, untill they get so frustrated that
they just give up and say it's impossible to make money online!
One of the reasons is that most people lack persistence and the
ability to hang in there when the going gets tough. If you lack
persistence, you will have a tough time making it online! ("If
you do make it")

Here is a list of ways to help give your business a boost!
Do joint ventures with other marketers to grow your business.

Join forums, offer your help to people, get joint venture
partners(just don't spam the boards)

Follow the steps of someone who is already successful online!

Don't be afraid to make a mistake online, we've all made
mistakes, and will continue to, just make sure you learn from
them..

Start an affiliate program!

Make sure you collect the names of your visitors and follow up
with them..

3) Lack of knowledge -

Knowledge is power, if you want to make it online you have to
learn all you can! And put what you know into action, use your
knowledge, don't just let it set up there and collect brain dust,
anyone can learn if they really want to, you just have to have
the will, and the strive!

You will always be learning, there is always someone out there
that can teach you something or ignite and ol' flame that you let
burn down.. all I can say is..learn, learn, learn!

If you stay persistant, learn all you can, and stay focused, you
can do anything and become anything..Want to be a guru? then do
what the gurus did...Work for it, give it all you got and learn
all you can and NEVER EVER give up!!

by Dennis Cheesman

Friday, June 09, 2006

self esteem : A New Perspective on Self Esteem

Fortunes have been made by so-called self help gurus on the topic of self esteem. Hundreds of books have been written and countless others touch on the subject in way or another. I have to admit, I haven't read any of them. Every thing I've ever learned about self esteem was through my own process of discovery and examination, and it started when I was very young.

When I was a child, my mother read to me every night. My favorite was always Dr. Seuss; it didn't occur to me until decades later what made him so special. Theodore Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss) reveled in the abstract. Possessing a curious, active imagination, I was instinctively drawn to Geisel's wild characters and escapist worlds. Unlike Geisel, many authors of children's books choose instead to tell stories of this world, or at least their versions of it. They intend harmlessly enough to teach values and lessons, but sometimes they do more harm than good.


For example, how many children's books introduce young minds to the idea of career selection before they're old enough to ride a bike? The question commonly raised is, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" A fireman? A banker? This instills in a child's mind at an early age that their value in society is directly tied to what they want to be when they grow up. Of course, it's not only children's books that take this approach. Parents and teachers are just as guilty. So are we allowing our children enough space to just be themselves?


Perhaps dad places a heavy emphasis on athleticism but his son has no athletic ability and besides that, no interest. Son wants to play the guitar and write songs for a living. Is it a father's right to stifle that desire? Who decides which is more important? Is it time to reevaluate the old adage, "Father knows best?" The more space a child is given to assign his/her own value to the various building blocks of self, the greater the chance that a strong, healthy self image will take shape. A parent's role is to facilitate this discovery with loving kindness, not dictate the terms and steer the ship.


The classic case studies of individuals with self esteem problems often paint a picture of someone who's consistently told "you're not good enough" or "you're smart enough." Many have suffered not only demoralizing verbal abuse, but physical and sexual abuse as well. Still, as prevalent as these scenarios are and not to minimalize them by any means, I would argue that the roots of many self esteem issues are far less insidious and affect all of us in one way or another.


Self esteem issues are found in the twenty-something executive who went to college to please his parents and now plays salesman during the day and paints at night. Or the devoutly religious who deny themselves earthly pleasures in the name of dogma and guilt. Or the teenager raised on MTV's version of how to be a rock star, win friends and influence people. The problem lies in our social sonar, the signals we send out to the world around us for feedback on where we stand on the food chain. We live in an "on demand" world now and expect fast, convenient snapshots of who we are rendered at 300 pixels per inch. Unfortunately, these pictures are blurred and skewed by other people's shortcomings and value judgments, and by media and advertising with their slick ploys to squeeze us into their narrow demographics.


Eastern religions have recognized this problem for centuries and addressed it through the doctrine of negation of self and ego. So shall we eliminate all outside influences by removing ourselves to nature and destroy the self? I'm not advocating such a radical step. On the contrary, I believe a sense of self is important. The concern is that ours is too often built like a house of cards, nothing more than a series of illusions stacked precariously on top of one another. A strong self image can only be built on a foundation of truth to our own inner nature.


The philosopher J. Krishnamurti said, "You will see how absurd is the whole structure that you have built, looking for external help, depending on others for your comfort, for your happiness, for your strength. These can only be found within yourselves."


So meditate often on the things you love. Journey inside yourself with no fear of what you might find there. Good and evil exist side by side in every one of us, so resist the temptation to judge yourself. Embrace your contradictions—they become you. And remember that no one's opinion of you means more than your own. A book can't and shouldn't touch you self-esteem. It comes from within, not from without.

by Eddie Beverage

self esteem : 7 Effective Ways To Boost Your Self Esteem

1. Get a life purpose statement.

A well thought out life purpose statement is a powerful way to boost your self-esteem. It will define who you truly are, draw out your essence and affirm you. Whenever you read your life purpose statement, you will be reminded about who you are, what you represent and what you intend to accomplish in life.


2. Take personal development courses.


Investing in the acquisition of knowledge and education will boost your self-esteem many levels higher! This will give you control over your life and you will gain self-confidence that will prepare you to face and deal with anything that comes your way.


3. Take action. Do something for yourself.


Start doing something for yourself. Take positive risks with your life. Don't live your life in chains. If you want to start a business…do it. Don't live other peoples dreams. Live out loud, live your dream, do something that you feel is important to you. Make sure you accomplish it.


4. Socialize


Involve yourself actively in matters that interest you. Join clubs, networking organizations, associations or groups of similar interest and participate actively. Being part of a group gives you a sense of belonging, acceptance and appreciation. Knowing that you are part of something important and meaningful, does a lot to boost your self-esteem.


5. Stand up for yourself.


Don't allow people to put you down and don't allow other people's expectations to thwart what you are capable of becoming. Don't put up with people or situations that negate all the positive things that you can do. Stand up for your dreams!


6. Volunteer to help the less privileged.


Volunteering will give you a sense of fulfillment, accomplishment and appreciation. Giving yourself in service to others is one of the noblest things to do. The look of gratitude on the faces of those that you have helped is enough to boost your self esteem


7. Set personal goals and accomplish them.


Living aimlessly leaves you with a feeling of emptiness and confusion. Goals give you a sense of purpose. They steer your life in a particular direction. They make your life purposeful. Accomplishing personal goals gives your self-esteem a big boost.

by Caroline Jalango

Sunday, June 04, 2006

self esteem ; How Kids Get Self-Esteem

Babies don't see themselves in a good or bad way. They don't think "I'm great!" when they let out a big burp, or "Oh, no, this diaper makes my legs look weird!" Instead, people around a baby help him or her develop self-esteem. How? By encouraging the baby when he or she learns to crawl, walk, or talk. They often say, "Good job. Good for you!" When people take good care of a baby, that also helps him or her feel lovable and valuable.

As kids gets older, they can have a bigger role in developing their self-esteem. Achievements - like getting a good grade on a test or making the All-Star soccer team - are things kids can be proud of. So are having a good sense of humor or being a good friend.

A kid's family and other people in his or her life - like coaches, teammates, and classmates - also can boost his or her self-esteem. They can help a kid figure out how to do things or notice his or her good qualities. They can believe in the kid and encourage him or her to try again when something doesn't go right the first time. It's all part of kids learning to see themselves in a positive way, to feel proud of what they've done, and to be confident that there's a lot more they can do.

A Little on Low Self-Esteem
Maybe you know kids with low self-esteem who don't think very highly of themselves or seem to criticize themselves too much. Or maybe you have low self-esteem and don't always feel very good about yourself or think you're important.

Sometimes a kid will have low self-esteem if his mother or father doesn't encourage him enough or if there is a lot of yelling at home. Other times, a kid's self-esteem can be hurt in the classroom. A teacher may make a kid feel dumb or perhaps there is a bully who says hurtful things.

For some kids, classes at school can seem so hard that they can't keep up or get the grades they'd hoped for. This can make them feel bad about themselves and hurt their self-esteem. Their self-esteem will improve when a teacher, tutor, or counselor encourages them, is patient, and helps them get back on track with learning. When they start to do well, their self-esteem will skyrocket!

And there are some kids who have good self-esteem but then something happens to change that. For example:

If a kid moves and doesn't make friends right away at the new school, he or she might start to feel bad.
A kid whose parents divorce also may find that this can affect self-esteem. He or she may feel unlovable or to blame for the divorce.
A kid who feels too fat or too thin may start thinking that means he or she isn't good enough.
Even going through the body changes of puberty - something that everybody does - can affect a kid's self-esteem.

©1995-2006 The Nemours Foundation. All rights reserved.

self esteem : What Is Self-Esteem?

You can't touch it, but it affects how you feel. You can't see it, but it's there when you look at yourself in the mirror. You can't hear it, but it's there every time you talk about yourself. What is this important but mysterious thing? It's your self-esteem!

What Is Self-Esteem?
To understand self-esteem, it helps to break the term into two words. Let's take a look at the word esteem first. Esteem (say: ess-teem) is a fancy word for thinking that someone or something is important or valuing that person or thing. For example, if you really admire your friend's dad because he volunteers at the fire department, it means you hold him in high esteem. And the special trophy for the most valuable player on a team is often called an esteemed trophy. This means the trophy stands for an important accomplishment.

And self means, well, yourself! So put the two words together and it's easier to see what self-esteem is. It's how much you value yourself and how important you think you are. It's how you see yourself and how you feel about your achievements.

Self-esteem isn't bragging about how great you are. It's more like quietly knowing that you're worth a lot (priceless, in fact!). It's not about thinking you're perfect - because nobody is - but knowing that you're worthy of being loved and accepted.

Why Self-Esteem Is Important
Self-esteem isn't like a cool pair of sneakers that you'd love to have but don't have to have. A kid needs to have self-esteem. Good self-esteem is important because it helps you to hold your head high and feel proud of yourself and what you can do. It gives you the courage to try new things and the power to believe in yourself. It lets you respect yourself, even when you make mistakes. And when you respect yourself, adults and other kids usually respect you, too.

Having good self-esteem is also the ticket to making good choices about your mind and body. If you think you're important, you'll be less likely to follow the crowd if your friends are doing something dumb or dangerous. If you have good self-esteem, you know that you're smart enough to make your own decisions. You value your safety, your feelings, your health - your whole self! Good self-esteem helps you know that every part of you is worth caring for and protecting.

©1995-2006 The Nemours Foundation. All rights reserved.

Friday, June 02, 2006

self esteem : Building Self Esteem

Low self esteem can make many things difficult. You blame yourself for things that aren't your fault; you underestimate your abilities, and you expect things to go wrong for you.This gentle yet powerful hypnosis download will build your self esteem by helping you...


Be fair to yourself
Be more objective about your good qualities
Feel better about your self
Be more confident in your abilities
Be calm when you think about yourself and your future
Think more positively
So why not give it a try?

Help yourself appreciate yourself more, feel better about yourself and improve your confidence.

Building your self esteem will affect all areas of your life - work, social and most importantly, your relationship with yourself.

It is a wonderful feeling to be reminded of your good qualities; one that can carry you through difficult times, improve your self confidence and make you feel more sure of yourself.

2006 Uncommon Knowledge Ltd. All Rights Reserved

self esteem : Sorry Dr Maslow

Abstract: This article makes the claim that Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs does not give Self-Esteem a high enough priority Sorry sir, while I respect your work, I think you got it wrong....

In the 1950s Abraham Maslow wrote a book entitled "Motivation and Personality" in which he outlined his now famous 'Hierarchy of Needs.'

Over the years since its introduction that model has gained wide acceptance as a tool in understanding motivation. It has been used in areas as diverse as Marketing and Christian Evangelism as well as Psychology.

Maslow rightly holds a place of high regard in many circles.

However, I do believe, that when it comes the sequence of needs Maslow got it wrong... at least in the position in which he places Self-Esteem.

According to Maslow, the order of the Hierarchy of Needs ran in the following ascending order basic survival needs, safety and security needs relationship needs Self-Esteem self-actualisation.

Diagramatically, Maslow's Hierarchy is represented by a triangle with 5 'layers' reading from the base to the apex.

I want to suggest a change.

I would rather place the need for Self-Esteem at the very base of the hierarchy, even before the basic physiological needs of food and water.

Why?

I firmly believe that unless the self-esteem needs of people are met there is a strong chance that they may even arrive at the point where they ignore their need for the basic necessities of life.

Take, for example, a person suffering from one of the eating disorders that affect some young people. I suggest that the problem which manifests itself in those disorders stems from the fact that those people do not an appropriate level of Self-Esteem. They feel the need to be something other than what they are in order to be more acceptable.

Depression is another example. People suffering this terrible condition often draw back from their interactions with other people and thereby ignore their relationship needs. But even more basic than that, they might also become oblivious to the dangers associated with situations into which they put themselves; like walking across busy roadways without bothering to consider oncoming traffic etc. As a result their safety needs don't get taken into consideration.

Again I suggest some, not necessarily all, of the underlying causes of depression relate to the person's level of Self-Esteem.

I would even go so far as to say Self-Esteem needs that go unfulfilled form the basis of the majority of problems people in our modern western world face in life today

So, if your life has not turned out the way you had hoped; if the worldly success coming your way leaves you unfulfilled; if you look to the future with disillusion because you can only look back at the past in disappointment; if life means endurance rather than enjoyment... there is every likelihood the underlying issue relates to your need for higher levels of Self-Esteem.

Big call. Yes I know.

And if you think I overstepped the mark in my revision of Maslow's Hierarchy, I admit that I am working from a different understanding of Self-Esteem from Maslow.

Maslow understood Self-Esteem as "strength, achievement,competency and mastery, confidence in the face of the world, the desire for reputation and prestige, status, fame and glory, dominance, recognition"

I came to my understanding of Self-Esteem by reading the writings of people whose reseach into the concept of Self-Esteem has continued for the half a century since Maslow's ground-breaking work. In that time, as you might expect, constant work has led to a certain amount of refinement and development of Maslow's original concepts.

For me, Self-Esteem relates to your belief that you have the capacity to achieve whatever you consider worthwhile and the sense of being worthy to benefit from the results produced by those efforts. I believe much of what Dr Maslow calls Self-Esteem belongs more appropriately in the area of relationship needs. From his list of attributes of a person with Self-Esteem it is my position that only the aspect of confidence can really stake any claim for consideration as a component of Self-Esteem.

Perhaps Maslow's understanding of Self-Esteem led to the popular idea that some people have so much Self-Esteem they become absolutely unbearable!

Such an eventuality is, in my considered opinion, not likely. Rather, I believe those people who display an attitude which can be best described by the phrase "full of themselves" actually operate from behind a front, attempting to hide a sense of Self-Esteem that is, in reality, sadly lacking.

http://www.more-selfesteem.com/maslow.htm